R A I N B O W. P I L L S

Sigh

Friday, March 07, 2008

你过得快乐吗？

This morning i was woken up by my mother's voice.
"Ah Mei, 起来了！六点半了！哎哟！七点了！"
(Ah mei, wake up already! it's 6.30! oh no! it's 7!!!)
With that, i was super shocked and sprang up, almost fainted when i saw 7.05am(5 min faster) on my HP screen.

I took 5 min to change to my uni, wear my shoes, change to my PE shorts, put my PE shirt in my bag, brush my teeth, grab my bag and $20, grab bread + 2bottles of water and get out of my house, and press the lift, and get down 5 levels and reach the road. (did i mention i didn't pee and comb my hair?) Oh yah, have to really thank my mum(: If not i will not be able to make it alone. I guess i will just go crazy at home.

Manage to flag a taxi within 1 min. (record time! i used to take like 15min to flag a taxi at 7am.)
At that time i was still not calm. I mean i did so many things, and so many thoughts went through my mind within 5 mins. My mother said i will be late but i told her if i can get a taxi by 15mins i wont be late. (i guess she thought sch start at 7.20am) I must despo-ly say that my heart and brain is haywire ): I guess that's why nonsense started to vomit out.

Me: Uncle Geylang Bahru. 你懂在哪里吗(do you know where is it)？Cedar Girls' school. (i thought i said Cedar girls' sec(and not geylang bahru), and previously all the taxi drivers have no idea where cedar is, so i asked him if he knew where is it...)
Driver: 你跟我讲当然懂啦。(Of course i know when you have told me.)
Me: Uncle 可以驾快一点吗？ (can you drive a little faster?)
Driver: 有车怎么快？没有车就会快啦。(How to when there are so many cars? Of course i can drive faster if there's no cars lah)

5mins later....Since i only wake up 5min ago without even washing my face, i felt rather cold. And the air-con was rather cold so in order not to freeze i said...
Me: Uncle, air-con可以不要这么冷吗？(terrible CL, what i meant was uncle, can you increase the temperature of the air con)
Uncle: 你要我关掉，车不是没有空气了。(If i switch off the air-con, there won't be any air in the car already.) ( i never ask you to switch off :( )

And he said something which shocked me to *****.....
Uncle: 为什么你的要求这样多？你活得快乐吗？(Why are you asking so much? Are you living a happy life ?)
Frankly at that point of time, i got a shocked out of my life..... (there's more to that, but i choose not to add on anymore....)

Now as i type this...I keep shaking my head and laugh.... I pondered about this. I really did. Cause i always believe in taking criticism and think why one said that. But i guess i'm stubborn. I think i'm not too much, and I dun have many wants in life, that's what i've always think. I've gave up many wants. Painfully i did. But...Maybe i was wrong. Humans sometimes don't understand themselves as much as others do.

I admit, sorry uncle that the way i speak is rather rude. The tone is rather disrespectful. Frankly, i have no idea why i said all these. I guess i was overwhelmed by the thought of being late. I guess i've never been so abnormal in the morning. But your words are a little too harsh. Then i start to put myself into a taxi driver's shoes. How hard they have to work to earn $$.

At 7.24pm, at AMK MRT i suddenly remembered the cause of waking up late. I set my alarm at 5.40pm (: Well done Pei Wen (:

But at least i wasn't late. I mean it is the last day of school. Imagine i'm late on the last day of school in term1 , when my aim is to maintain my records of 0 times late. I'm so close to it, yet i failed on the last day. I guess i will feel very upset too. I guess it's nothing so some people. Cause they are late for 3times or more.

Ironically i said this not really from the bottom of my heart. Uncle谢谢你 (twice) I just want to thank him for sending me safely there and i was on time. But of course my fumes were thicker than my gratitude...

End of Grandma Story (:

Read my Friends' Updated Blogs. I'm upset, bereaved, bitter, blue*, cheerless, dejected, depressed, despairing, despondent, disconsolate, dismal, distressed, doleful, down, downcast, forlorn, gloomy, glum, grief-stricken, grieved, heartbroken, heartsick, heavy-hearted, hurting, in doldrums*, in grief, languishing, low, low-spirited, lugubrious, melancholy, morbid, morose, mournful, pensive, pessimistic, somber, sorrowful, sorry, troubled, weeping, wistful, woebegone.

WHY? Why? Why? I wonder, You wonder, We wonder. Sometimes i think question mark is such an artistic symbol.

I felt as if i have no ******* in school. I felt sorry for my dear *******, as i failed to understand you and make you happy. I didn't feel the accelerating awkwardness until this period of time. And i feel like giving up *****. I've tried very hard not to. But you seem to force me to. I dont want hostility. Do you know i've swallowed how many breathes of anger and tolerated?I guess i've learnt something too (: I love the words : I grew.

And i don't seem to be very good in inferring. I have no idea what you are talking about. I really failed as a friend. And i continue to allow myself to fail.

1week Holidays is Here. I shall make it more of a (: instead of thinking ): when it's only Day1.
Everyone is going through almost the same process. I CAN DO IT! I need to plan! And i've proved that i can do it during OAC.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
Erin Majors

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.
Thomas Jefferson

@ 11:56 PM