Friday, September 21, 2007
My eyes look like a goldfish now.

I still remembered the times when we complained about her.
Without putting ourselves in her shoes, of coming to school to teach despite being pregnant.
I felt like a ****** saying unpleasant stuff about her.

I still remembered wednesday morning, when we were suppose to go com lab3 for English lesson during the 1st period. We waited so long for mrs ng to arrive(we realise there wasn't a sign of other tchers too due some tchers meeting), and after a long while we finally saw ms begam at the 3rd level. Linli went to staff room to call for mrs ng, one of the teacher said tt she was not in school today and told us to go back to class. So all of us thought she was on MC again and that the teachers forgot to write her name on the absentee board. (and it's very normal for her to take MC, she was on MC on tue too)

Mr yau appeared and called us to proceed to meeting place for physic lesson since EL tcher was not here. Yup thinking back, mr yau already know the news and he had to keep it from us. He didn't say anyth at all. Next period was PE, when we had lots of fun and sweat alot. Recess, then MT. Then it was math, math rep said mrs chia was not feeling well and told us to do our own work.

Meanwhile rumours spread like wildfire. So i somehow conclude tt one of our tchers had passed away, and she's ms kaur (touch wood choichoi). She was on very long term MC, and i had never seen her for many months. (I'm really really sorry ms kaur :( ) And almost the whole class heard about this, but almost the whole class didn't know who she was. Mrs chiaw told us to go to the family centre. While we saw other cedarians entering the hall.

While waiting for Mrs Ouyang to come we played games to kill time. Though we were curious why we have to be so special, we never thought that THAT was the reason why.

Mrs Ouyang came.
I have a piece of very sad news to say...Mrs S.Ng passed away yesterday evening....
I shall not elaborate what she said.

Mrs ouyang spoke rather soft. But i was very sure of what she said.
My mind was blank. I had no emotions. Pple around me brokedown, many of them.

We went back to class. 3S was in their class too. I sat on my seat. i just stare blankly. Then i think mrs chiaw said someth. And i cried. I cried very hard. I cried for being so evil to her. I cried for we had lost her, someone whom we saw on monday, healthy and joyful in com lab 3. I still remembered she promised us to go through paper 1 on tue and wed before the EL exam on thursday. I remembered when she said she will be leaving after teaching us as she will be giving birth soon. I remembered her saying that other teachers are already booking her lessons after EL exam.

The chocolates that we gave her for teachers' day.
I doubt she has eaten them. And she will never have the chance to anymore.

The scene of Mrs Ouyang breaking the news to us flashes every moment when i reach home.
The teachers were deeply affected. They were not only colleges, they were friends.

I bought the Straits Time when i was going home.
I saw 2 names under the children column.

Till now i still couldn't believe it. Especially yesterday, when i was looking through my EL notes and assignments. They were marked by her. I looked through my timetable and saw her name. I told my parents about it. My parents met her for the 1st and last time during meet-the-parents session. I still remembered how mrs ng tried to speak to my parents in mandrain. And she had to laugh at times cause the atmosphere is awkward.

I went to the wake today. To pay my last respects for Mrs Ng. As usual, i felt nothing when we went in the parlor. I saw Mrs chia Mr tay Mr goh there. We went forward to take the last look. It was just too fast, i didn't get to see her clearly. Mr Goh told us to come down already.

Her husband talked to us after everyone went in. He looked so strong, so strong. I breakdown after listening to what he told us. Somehow my heart felt so painful when he talked to us, how he tried to smile and remain ok while talking to us. I can't imagine the future challenges he's going to face. but i'm sure he can DEFINITELY go through all these. He told us : as we can see, life's short and unpredictable. Now what we could do is to treasure the pple ard us.

Mrs han told me: You know mrs ng is a very cheerful teacher. I believe she don't want to see you feeling so upset over her...

I read other's blog, i sob more and more after reading each posts.
" The day when the baby is born is the day when the mother died".

This really sets everyone thinking. The whole cedar population.
Mrs chia said tt mrs ng was her student. She was such an obedient and good girl...

Rest in Peace Mrs Ng.
You have impacted many of us,
And my deepest condolences to her family.

I read an article on the Straits Times long long time ago:

"Thank you for highlighting the multiple roles of teachers and the sacrifices we have made and are still making. A teacher's job is never-ending and the challenged are many. As a primary school teacher for more than a decade, i have witnessed countless selfless acts in school amidst the punishing schedule.

Many teachers work quietly without asking for extra compensation and recognition. But their greatest satisfaction is derived from seeing their charges grow up to be useful citizens and contributing to the society. As clinched as it may sound, a good teacher is hard to come by. And it takes a lot to be one. "

Saturday, September 15, 2007